We are a Disney Princess family. In the beginning when Ella was first introduced to Disney, namely the princesses, I felt we had a good balance of what I’d like to call 2 categories: Princess and Not Princess. Ella really enjoyed playing with her trainset, reading all types of books (Thomas the Train, Huggle Buggle, etc.) and playing with her Princess Barbies. Lately she’s been very into Disney characters, namely the princesses. Does that mean Cinderella ate my baby? I think not.
It’s our job to support who our children are at any given point and instill in them their morals, values and ethics. I would feel sorry for your child if you tried to push him/her into something they weren’t. It’s like forcing them to play soccer if they really wanted to go to ballet class. One of my best friends has a son is the same age as Ella. He happens to enjoy playing with Barbies (dolls), puts on chapstick/lipgloss, seems halfway interested in playing dress-up, loves to cook with his kitchen, etc. My friend lets him, as she should because he enjoys doing those particular things. Is anyone judging her? Nope.
I think trying to make your child something he/she is not is more damaging than letting them play with a doll that happens to have measurements that you could probably only obtain by getting plastic surgery. It’s up to us, the parents of these young impressionable beings to teach them about what’s real and what’s not. Give them self confidence to be who they are and stop being so anti-“everything”. I’ve heard that Disney is actually talking about doing a bald Barbie for children who are going thru Chemo treatments, etc. I suppose that’s terrible also…How about American Girl dolls? These dolls have real life stories. They’re normal in size. I let Ella play with hers and she loves it. She happens to have Rebecca, the Russian Jew, by the way. Do you really think Ella knows the difference between the American Girl doll with the real life story or the skinny Barbie. Hell no.
We need to stop over analyzing absolutely everything and just let kids be kids. As long as we instill in them morals and do everything in moderation, who cares? Freaking chill out.
More from this series:
- Addressing the STUFF
- The Overt Sexualization of Young Girls or Why My Preschooler Won’t Wear a Bikini
More from Naomi:
January 25, 2012 at 5:31 pm
All I can say is AMEN! This is exactly how I feel about raising my girls and so far I feel like I am doing a good job at distinguishing what is real and what is not. My girls are told on a daily basis how beautiful they are and it has nothing to do with the barbies that they play with or the princess that they see in the movies. My girls are growing up to be what they want to be and dress how they want to dress (knowing that I have the final say in their clothes and nothing short or revealing will be on their bodies). I definitely feel that many people over analyze too many situations with kids these days and need to just let them be kids!
January 25, 2012 at 5:32 pm
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January 31, 2012 at 8:42 am
[...] The Princess Culture? Seriously? [...]
February 3, 2012 at 8:13 pm
LOVE this post. There is absolutely a princess culture – dress up day at my local reception school (aged 4-5) saw almost all the girls come as princesses where the boys were much more creative, and lots more aspirational. By the time they’re 11 they had mostly graduated to wanting to be models or actresses, which is sad and superficial. I hear from teachers it’s the same all over the place.
It’s so disappointing when the toys and products marketed at girls reflect the whole ‘be pretty’ ‘wait for a man’ or ‘your role is just to care’ mentality. It really reinforces an old fashioned view of femininity, and always the roles which are actually least valued in the grown up world.
It is about choice, but when the choices are so much more limited in the girls toy section (here in many UK shops you won’t find a doctors/pilot/hero costume anywhere in the girls’ section, nor an ironing board or mirror in the boys’) I agree that you have to be thinking to consciously offer a choice. Role play as a princess seems to focus girls on just being beautiful, and they’re going to be bombarded with that shallow crap enough when they’re older. Of COURSE they like it – put on a costume and everyone tells them they’re pretty – but that’s fairly limited and what message does it send?
As for ‘damaging’ your kids or ‘feeling sorry for them’ – that’s seriously OTT language for simply being cynical about the gender norms pushed on kids!!