I’ve never regretted being a working mom, until a month ago.  My daughter started at a Montessori school when she was only 8 weeks old. As hard as it was to hand her over to someone else at such a young age, I looked forward to having adult conversations and having at least 9 hours in the day where I didn’t have to worry about someone projectile vomiting all over me.  She attended this school until a month ago, when it was time for her to start kindergarten at a public school.

Over the past month she’s had to deal with a lot of change.  As much as I thought kindergarten would be an easy transition (she’s never had any problems transitioning at her previous school), we have seen behavior from her that we’ve never seen before.   We were even asked to move her from her after school program to somewhere else due to her making some bad decisions.  As we are scrambling as parents trying to figure out how to handle these new (hopefully temporary) traits of hers, we sat her down for a serious conversation to try and get her input on how she could improve in school.  She looked me in the eyes and said, “If you taught me.”

That’s when the guilt set in.

Here I am lucky enough that my child thinks the world of me, and she loves having me help her learn.  It wasn’t an emotional comment, where she was whining to try and get her way.  This was her being honest with me.  I realized I was having an adult conversation with her, and she was thinking logically.  At that moment I had my first indication that she was no longer my baby.  I have struggled the past couple of weeks trying to figure out how I can continue to work (for financial reasons) and also give my daughter the support that she’s asking for.  When did life get so hard?

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